I had a co-worker that one day said to me “Anxiety has destroyed my life” while we were joking about who knows what but, I’m sure it was a completely unrelated topic. At the moment nobody in the conversation gave it any mind but, it stayed with me. Resonating deep within my consciousness. That sentence.
In my line of work, we all have a temporary place. Nothing too permanent unless you work in the corporate division. We all knew that at some point within the next few months we were going to be let go since the current project was ending. Not because we are bad at our job but, because our work is no longer required.
I heard that sentence every time I saw her, every time I spoke with her, I just heard that sentence deep in my mind. I wondered if this is what she wanted to be doing for the rest of her life. She didn’t look sad by any means she was quite the uplifted individual. Someone you might feel encouraged to start a conversation with.
One day I just bluntly asked her. Why she said “Anxiety has destroyed my life” a few months ago. This was her answer.
-I’ve always struggled with anxiety. The fear of being singled out, being terrified of wanting to interact with people. I feel I’ve given up many opportunities for fear of my anxiety getting out of control. I try to handle it every day but, sometimes I feel I can’t even talk. I may sound dramatic but, it’s something else. I feel it’s stopping me from being the best me I can be. I feel like my heart is going to explode like my lungs are going to collapse and like a shadow wraps my being from my legs up not wanting to let me go. Sometimes I just don’t even know what else todo. I’m not receiving the help I need, not because I don’t need it. I don’t seek it because I know some people have it worse. I sometimes feel I’m just being overdramatic. I also fear the way people might start looking at me if they know. –
We must help in shattering the idea that seeking mental healthcare is a weakness. We must throw into complete oblivion the idea that people who seek it are less capable. We all deserve the same chance to be happy and not be ashamed of seeking help when we need it. I truly believe that seeking help is more of a sign of achievement, resolve, and strength than of anything else. For my co-worker, all I could do was listen and encourage her to seek help. She was later let go and, I haven’t seen her since. I probably won’t see her but, I hope she is doing well and working in being the most amazing version of herself she can be.
No one experiences the same as another and therefore, no one feels the same way another does; because of this, you must never doubt the validity of your feelings. While you might believe someone can have it worse than you, that thought doesn’t invalidate your feelings or emotions. If you ever feel you need help to seek it, don’t ashamed.
Let your friend know that seeking help is not a weakness and that receiving it, can be truly liberating.
Textual Tensions 