In Isolation

I’m going under and I feel like there’s no saving the sentiment in my heart.  A letdown that overtakes my senses and overcomes my defenses.  I don’t stand a chance against this utter feeling of being senseless.  This bystander fog, a byproduct of the darkness carried by countless, may tear me down and turn me completely helpless.  It all just sounds like a delusion of my creation, yet it hurts more than a knife to the heart and, burns more than salt on any wound.  Every word I speak is hollow and defiled as it becomes a player in my dismay. Trapped in between these four walls all day and night I’ve lost myself in a corner and all the pieces to who I was are scattered along the shadows of this room.  Alone in isolation I struggle to find the answer I seek. 

I’ll sit here, close my eyes and allow my soul to be consumed by my feelings.  As darkness becomes apparent in my reality, I also start to see a light.  A broadcast that may have been sent by angels in a faraway world for a delusional like me.  I start to find the secrets of my soul and the start of it all.  I start running circles around my mind looking for who I am.  It takes me back to my start where science and progress are entertained by my wandering heart.  A complete turn I see to have found.  The sentiment in my heart now completely redefined and hope has conquered it all.  I’m still not where I want to be but, I’ll make it there.  I’ve found a million reasons to move forward and conquer my all. Maybe the cause of this dismay was within me and the bystander fog was just a catalyst for the darkness in my soul.